Garage Build Pt. 2

After finishing the basic structure it was time for the exterior walls. They went up fairly easily. This is where prior preparation is critical. The sides (and roof) attach with metal screws through pre-drilled holes. If the slab isn't perfectly flat and even the holes won't match which is fixed by a lot more work accompanied by fits of bad language.

Here's the South side done.


The North side


And the Back


Here are the trusses, gables and roof I-beams installed and ready for a roof. Have I mentioned how hot it's been cause it was a mite warmish. I figure I sweated approximately 5 Gatorades per hour. That's real construction speak right there.


The roof corners go up first. See that ladder I'm on, the 6 footer with the inviting step at the very top? Yeah, I fell off causing much bruising and more colorful metaphors. Don't be alarmed, I'm a professional where it comes to falling off ladders. I mean, I've fallen off ladders put up and held by professional Firefighters. Seriously, I've fallen off a lot of ladders. Explains many things. I ended up hanging from one of the roof I-beams by my right armpit. You may not know this but your armpit wasn't designed for holding up your body weight. Just a tip. It was spectacular enough that Lu even noticed. Usually when I hurt myself doesn't even look anymore, she just asks if we need to visit the ER. No? Then get back to work you lazy bastard.


The ladder incident (or rather the latest ladder incident) led to an epiphany. I have a large truck. It has this really nice and strong camper shell. The garage is open at the moment and, you know, it's right there, so...
Presto! Instant scaffolding. That's Sphincter Boy standing up there in case you can't see him.


Here is our now much smarter hero, installing the roof panels the safe way. See, I actually can learn from my mistakes. Provided they're painful enough.



We finished the day with the roof about halfway done.


The next day we got up and finished it off. Hey, there's a building there!


A couple of pictures from inside. It was at least 20 degrees cooler in there making my motivation to go back out in the sun pretty much nonexistent. See the man? See the huge sweat stain? Don't get too near the man.




After finishing the roof it was time to anchor the building. We did the final squaring and got ready to install the anchors. Uh. We might have a problem here. Take a look at the 2 anchors at the bottom of the picture. The one on the right is what was supplied in the anchor kit I bought, paying perfectly good money for it. It's 1/4 inch and was woefully inadequate. To fix it I went to the hardware store (Oh Joy!) and bought fifty 1/2 inch by 3 inch anchors. You can see the difference here. You do not anchor a 14x31x10 foot building with tinker toys.


This change in the plan required the purchase of a new tool. Oh yeah, I love tools especially new ones. Lu wasn't even mad. That bad boy is a Dewalt hammer drill and it's fabulous in the extreme. It drilled 1/2 inch holes 3 inches deep in my 6 bag concrete like, well, something sharp going through something soft. Hey, I'm tired and my brain don't work too well at the moment.


The day wouldn't be complete without thanking the support staff. Good ol' Chrisi. Where would we have been without her? Pay no attention to the fat man on the floor. Cheap labor.


Tomorrow I'll post the final build. We have to finish the trim, put on doors and build some shelving. Plus there's all my crap to lug and store in there. Come back, it'll be epic. I swear. There will probably be more pain and maybe even some bleeding.

Hey, I aim to please.

Eric

Building A Garage

The delivery guy dropped off a package on Tuesday afternoon. It was 9 large boxes and 1 small one on a triple long pallet.



Here's the boxes, unloaded and partially opened. That's a lotta parts!


First step is to do some assembly, lay down the foundation and put up the corners, main pillars and support beams. It's important brace the walls as at this point it can be blown down by a strong wind.



Slot A goes into Tab B and then attach the doohickey with alternating thingies. Got it. Wait...what?? I'm a guy. I hate instructions.


The 2 main trusses. They had to be assembled piece by piece by piece. There were a lot of parts.


This is where we left off yesterday. Most of the main supports are in and the trusses and roof beams are assembled and ready to install. That's what we'll be working on today along with putting on the exterior sides. We're still several days away from a completed garage.


More tomorrow.

Eric

NowhereMan Triathlon

I signed up to do Fatty's 100 Miles Of Nowhere. It's 100 miles on rollers or a short course and is a fundraiser in the fight against cancer. I have a special reason for participation this year. My Mother is in the end stages of terminal lung cancer. This is the one and only time she'll be able to see me complete this event. In that light I decided the day deserved the best effort I could give. If 100 miles on rollers is good maybe something more would be better. I settled on a triathlon. But how? I can't swim and even if I could doing laps in the tub seemed kinda boring. But I can lift and have this humble but really cool, mostly equipped gym right at my house. Presto, the NowhereMan Triathlon was born (With all due credit and respect to Fatty for the name. Please don't kill me).

It's a triathlon with a twist; 100,000 pounds lifted, 10K run and 100 miles on a bicycle, all without leaving the comfort of my home gym. I planned on doing it on Saturday but wandered around the house all day Friday, thinking about it and playing it out in my mind. Shortly after 2:00 PM I decided heck with this. I gathered up Lu and headed out to the gym to get things rolling.

Ma. This is for you.

A partial view of the gym with the bicycle already hooked up to the rollers. That's the official 100 Miles Of Nowhere plate on the bike. The whole thing was done in my humble home gym out behind my house. The gym equipment for lifting, the run on a treadmill and the bike on rollers. Never left the gym except once to use the facilities which were in my own house. How cool is that?

2:30 PM and the official start.

The scoreboard, depressingly free of completed disciplines.

Lifting was up first. As the Big Board shows, I did 7 exercises. The totals went like this:
Bench Press - 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
Barbell Curl - 100 reps @ 70 pounds = 7,000
Dips - 100 reps @ 245 pounds = 24,500
Rows - 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
Overhead Extensions - 100 reps @ 100 pounds = 10,000
Shoulder Raises - 100 reps @ 55 pounds - 5,500
Deadlifts - 60 reps @ 200 pounds = 12,000
Squats - 20 reps @ 200 pounds = 4,000
If my math is correct that's 100,000 pounds in 680 repetitions for a 147 pound per lift average. The first time I did 100,000 pounds in training for this it took me 1250 reps. I started to do squats, intending to do 100 reps but at rep number 10 felt a twinge in my right knee. On the second set of 10 it went from a twinge to a full blown owie and squats were out and maybe the entire triathlon. I switched to deadlifts and managed 60 reps before the pain became too great. I added some weight and reps to shoulder raises (I was only planning on doing 60 at 50 pounds) and made up the weight.

Take a look at that face. It was about this time that I recognized there might be a problem and was considering how to continue.

Here's Lu loading plates. She spent the day and night setting up, bringing me food and drinks and just generally coaching and cheer leading. Not to mention the recovery massages. Love that woman.

Here's the what the final board looked like. Not exactly according to the plan but done.

With lifting done it was to event number 2. I was planning on biking at this point but Lu convinced me that my arms were so pumped that supporting myself on the bike might be problematic so the 10K was next.

The problem knee. It kept me from running the pace I wanted but held together long enough to finish. I did no better than a fast walk and a light jog but I finished every step.

6.2 miles aka 10 Kilometers. The time was disappointing but I finished.

The mid point meal complete with a smile and a thumbs up. Mac and Cheese with bacon bits (because everything is better with bacon), whole wheat bread and a glass of milk. I went through about a gallon of water, a half gallon of Gatorade and a tall milk. Yes, that is indeed a drill press behind me. Don't ask.

Ok. On to the bike. My arms were still pumped but I considered this the easiest part of the whole deal. Hey, we're all wrong from time to time. Right?
The obligatory Zero miles shot.

I was going to do the whole ride in my official Team Fatty Jersey but...

Fatty, I love you and Twin Six but by this point my arms were still so pumped the jersey was cutting off circulation to my hands. I went with something a little more...open.

Man, this is hard. In addition to a triathlon this was my first Century on the bike. I found myself looking down at the odometer thinking "I must almost be done by now. Come on, let me almost be done by now" only to discover I still had 75 miles to go. Oof. It was grind it out time so I put my head down and put in the miles.

The finale was most satisfying.

And just like that it was done! The clock on the wall said 11:26 PM.

The official time was kept by Lu on her official Ironman Timex

8:55:42. 8 hours, 55 minutes, 42 seconds.

The final Big Board.

I wanted to do this event for a couple of reasons.
First to support Team Fatty and all his good works and do my part in The Fight.
Second to prove to myself that I could do it.
Finally, and most importantly, to let my Mother know how I feel about her. Ma, I love you more than I could possibly say. I did this because you couldn't. It's my small way of honoring you, your life and your fight. Cancer may separate us but you will ever be in my heart. Fight your fight and know I'll be beside you the whole way. And when your fight is done I will take it up as my own. That is my promise to you.

And so it is done. My legs feel like a bag of angry cats. Lu has been taking good care of me with plenty of Tylenol and leg massages. I've spent the day sleeping and eating anything and everything that gets near me. Now, as far as I can tell I'm the first to do this particular brand of triathlon. If so I believe that makes me the world record holder. If not I'm still the record holder in the Male, 51.9 year old (I'll be 52 in a couple of weeks), Clydesdale, Hurricane Utah, Home Gym, Balding division. I declare myself satisfied. And hey, maybe someone else will step up next year and go for my title. Oh, almost forgot one thing. I started the tri at 245 pounds. After it was done I weighed myself again, thinking I'd see how much weight I'd lost. Kinda like the last chance workout on Biggest Loser. I weighed in at 247. I have to be the only guy in America who can do 9 hours of straight exercise and gain 2 pounds. Jillian would be so disappointed.

Thank you to all of you, my friends, for your support and encouragement. A big Thank You goes to Fatty. The fight goes on my friend but as long as people like you exist how can we possibly fail? Thanks for letting me participate and honor my Mother. I owe you.

Eric "Six"

Honey Do

So it was time to do one of the honeydo's highest on my list of things I really, really did not want to do. Taking out the Jasmine vine out front. Why now?'Cuz I don't want to end up like this guy.

This is what that mess looked like before I started. Each wing of the vine is 16 feet long and a little over 5 feet high. There are 3 main roots and, as anyone who has ever messed with these things knows, about a million little roots.

Started by pushing it over as far as it'd go because I'm a gorilla and that's what gorilla's do.

It's been up for 20 years or so and the 4x4's were rotted pretty badly. I pushed and pushed but surprise, surprise it completely failed to fall over and onto my trailer. It was pretty obvious some cutting was needed. Cue my double bitted axe because I broke my chain saw doing the fence. Yeah, I'm that guy.

Half down and ready to be dragged away. Yeah, that's my help laying on the lawn sunning themselves with the cooler nearby. Oh, turns out the vine was heavy. Really heavy. Like about 500 pounds of heavy. Oh, my aching 50 year old legs. That's about 2 hours of solid, backbreaking work. Well..... work for an old guy anyway.

Hey, I can see the street!

And the house.

One down and one to go. Luckily for me my timing worked out perfectly and Lu got home just in time to help out with half number 2. Tell me that isn't a frickin' mess.

Number 2 is gone and Lu poses next to her triumph. She finally got me to finish what I've been swearing I'd do for the last 15 years. Remember that bear in the procrastination poster? He's got nothing on Lu. Man, I need some window treatments now. Sigh.

For comparison. That trailer is 5 feet wide and 10 feet long. I'm 6 feet tall. That is a pile o' Jasmine. Unseen under that pile is about 1200 pounds of broken concrete and brick that used to be 2 benches (you can see one of them in the before photo). I'm thinking I'm gonna have to cough up a lung at the dump.

The After picture. Please ignore the partial glove on the left. I was lacking adult supervision at that moment. We can now see out and, even more importantly, it no longer looks like the entrance to the Brazillian Jungle Ride at Retarded Otto's Amusement Park. My neighbors will be so happy.

All this just so I can rent the place out and someone else will miss out on the joys of Jasmine pollen and Jasmine trimming.

Becoming a slum lord better be worth all this effort.

Six

New Site

We all have, at one time or another, dealt with crappy neighbors. Well, the folks at It's A Security Light are apparently living in or at least near the seventh circle of Hell.

Go, read and revel in the thought that thease are not your neighbors. The snark is of the highest quality.

Six

Gooseberry Mesa

A couple of years ago Lu and I bought her grandparents home in Hurricane, Utah. It's a modest home, built in sections by her grandfather. The original house and the first addition were masonry construction so, yeah, I have some masonry interior walls. It's going to need some wiring (lots of 2 prong outlets), plumbing (copper attached to iron with no anodes) and flooring (carpeting in the kitchen?!). First was the water heater.

Last time we visited the house was in February. While there I noticed that both the cold water inlet and the hot water outlet pipes were leaking. Not bad but enough. The water had gotten inside the electric water heater and corroded the hookups. Enough to trip the breaker. Yikes. We turned off the water and power and headed back to California so we could decide what to do.

I did some research on tankless and decided against it for now. The electric one needs 3 separate 20 amp 240 volt feeds and a 200 amp box. That means a total re-wire of the old house and I'm not quite ready to do that at the moment. So, new regular water heater.

I went out last Wednesday, armed with tools and an inadequate plumbing skill set. Luckily I have a good friend (Hey Tom) who knows everything. He clued me in and stated his confidence in my ability to do this rather simple talk. Disaster will surely follow such a pronouncement.

For those of you who are home remodel savvy, you no doubt already know about Gator Clamps (also known as Shark Clamps. At least in Utah). These little plumbing wonders are the greatest thing since the invention of sex. They allow even the dimmest bulb to do basic copper pipe plumbing without sweating in the joints. Sweating in is a vast misnomer for attaching copper pipes to various elbows, devices and attachments through the use of solder, the heat from a portable blast furnace and something called "Flux". "Flux" is apparently a magic substance that causes solder to decide to flow into a copper joint when used by a plumbing expert and third degree burns to the digits of amateurs when used by same. They are a wonder and if I ever meet the inventor I will kiss him full on the mouth in public (any chance the inventor was female???). Leakless joints with a simple push. I LOVE them.

Through the use of this fabulous device I was able to install a new 50 gallon water heater in the space where tho old one was. The exact center of my house. Just inside the door from the living room to the bedrooms. In the middle of everything. Yeah, I need to move it. Later. I also installed new clothes washer hoses. Baby, I'm a now a plumber! Got the butt crack to prove it.

Since I got done early I called my best friend (the selfsame Tom of the awesome plumbing skills) and invited him and his dog Mugsy down for some riding. Southern Utah has some of the most awesome MTB trails in the country and most of them are mere minutes from my front door. Go ahead. Be jealous.

I decided it was time to tackle the Gooseberry Mesa. We loaded up and headed out. The trail head is at the end of several miles of very bad dirt road. The area has had some bad rains so those roads were also muddy with water filled potholes approximately the size of Lake Michigan. Still, I am the illegitimate son of Parnelli Jones so we had no difficulties getting there, screams from the passenger seat notwithstanding (Tom, you're such a wuss. We were no where near that cliff. Missed it by at least 6 inches. Big sissy).

This is Tom and his "dog" Mugsy. Mugsy is a 9 month old, 100 pound Bull Mastiff. He's also the biggest goofball dog on the planet. If he's actually a dog and not the unholy offspring of an real dog and water buffalo. That dog is big. His head is the size of a basketball. Did I mention he's 9 months old? Tom figures he's got another 40 to 50 pounds to still put on. Sheesh. BTW, yes, those are Tom's bike riding clothes. No spandex. No cleated shoes. No cool mesh riding shirt and high tech water hydration system. Jeans and a t-shirt. It was cold so he wore his long sleeve with the front left unbuttoned in that hip, Jack Nicholson if he was a dork kinda way. All the other bike guys saw him and I was like totally embarrassed. Love ya Tom.

This is me and Mugsy. You will please note that I am properly attired for a day on the trails. Cool riding jacket, neat riding trousers (not pants mind you, trousers) with chamois padded spandex underneath and cleated MTB riding shoes. Fabulous. Note the Gooseberry Mesa sign for those of you who suspect that I may be making the whole thing up. Also please note Mugsy's head and chest. I'm 6 foot and about 17 1/2 stones (Hah!) for reference.

Tom wussed out part way through the ride. Something about not having ridden for a year and neck surgery and a bad back, Blah, blah, blah. Typical. I suspect he's probably a closet hiker. Still, a good time was had by all. Tom swears he's going to start riding again and kick my ass next time. Heh heh.

I'm heading back at the end of the month. I'm installing some new flooring in the kitchen, water heater room and the man cave (aka the basement. More on that later). Did I mention I'm retired? And bored?

Hey Tom. Up for Gooseberry again? We'll get you some spandex.

And a little scarf for Mugsy.

Six