Friday, October 2, 2009


I recently finished a class for work. It was the Instructor Development Course. To graduate I had to pick a subject, write a tutorial and actually teach the class. I chose Police Bicycle Patrol.

But what angle to use? I pondered and pondered. Then it hit me. My nickname.

See, as some of you know, I'm a recovering meathead. A powerlifter. A guy who specializes in picking up and putting down heavy things. Never world class, I can say with all due modesty that I was pretty good at it. At my largest I was about 270 pounds (239ish at the moment). A badly blown Achilles tendon, a second shoulder surgery, a motorcycle crash wrecked hip and a host of chronic aches and pains convinced me that at 50, it was time to find another athletic outlet (hence my move into pedal powered transport). All this to tell you that my nickname was/still is, I swear, Bubba. 

So, Bubba the Bike Cop was born.

What's Wrong with this picture?

The class was on how to start a bicycle patrol, starting with uniform and equipment. I led the class on what a bike cop needs to do the job. I presented Bubba as What Not To Do and as a starting point for our theoretical bicycle patrolman. Yes, that is yours truly. I'm still carrying too much on top and, yeah, that's what happens to ones legs when one catastrophically rips an Achilles tendon. I'm working on it. Really.

Much to my surprise and delight, the class was a hit. They really got into equipping Bubba and pointing out what a goober he was. Really, really got into it. I'm still trying to live it down. I passed the class and actually got a good score on my presentation so I guess the humiliation was worth it. I got an A and I exposed others (some of whom are or will be chief officers) to the real benefits of the bike. Another win for bicycling!

But it is clear to me now that I will be Bubba among my circle of peers for the rest of my career and probably my life.

Eh, I can live with that.


100poundsago said...

Sheesh went I went for my State of Michigan Fire Instructor I had to do 3 classes all on different topics. My topics were "The Lazy-Boy Chair: Proper use and maintenance" "The Kilonewton: Learn It, Use It, Love It" and finally "Rope: Not just for jumping anymore" I passed with flying colors. My Lazy-Boy was met with a standing ovation. Are you going to teach at the Academy level now, become an FTO? Just what are you going to do with this new found knowledge?

The Six said...

I'm an FTO now and will be teaching at the Academy starting next year (Assuming they get enough applicants. California seems to be running on fumes at the moment).

I LOVE the lazy boy class. I so need to take that. I can only imagine but you should definitely post a summary on your blog. It's gotta be good!

A Kilonewton is obviously an extra large cookie but no jump rope? Recess just won't be the same.

100poundsago said...

Baaaaaa a Kilonewton is a rating for things like rope and rope hardware. Its a math equation to find out how much you can load something before it breaks and sends you falling to a splattering finish.

The Six said...

No big cookie? Dang. I was hoping those fig things now came in a 2.2 pound size. Now that's a snack.
Besides, you know cops brother. I can barely count the bullets in my magazines. My idea of math is... "let's see...52 in a 35 zone. That's...uh, carry the 3...look, just pay the fine, Ok?"